I came across another article again, on the subject - forgive and forget. And I thought, I would very much agree to the writer. The source is from psychology today...
The Content of the first paragraph as per below :-
Many people believe that forgiveness is necessary if we are to put the past behind us and move on. Twelve-step programs teach the philosophy that we should forgive others because they, like us, were doing the best they could at the time. Many religions teach that forgiveness is the only fair and compassionate thing to do, since we have all sinned and we have all hurt others. Many psychotherapists also believe that forgiveness is necessary in order to heal. But as wise as spiritual leaders and therapists are concerning the importance of forgiveness, sometimes forgiveness is not possible. Unfortunately, we have not been given permission to choose not to forgive. It is my belief that forgiveness is not necessary for healing, and in some cases may not be the healthiest thing to do. This is especially true when forgiving is tantamount to giving permission to hurt you again.
I'd like to hear your thoughts and feelings on this sometimes touchy subject. Do you think it is always possible to forgive? ........ and giving another permission to hurt you once again....
Stay tune with my little thought ... TeresaChin ...
June 17, 2010 at 9:30 AM
let's just say that many times, I would forgive,but I would not forget. Forgive the wrongs of that person but never forget what that person is capable of doing...and thus be more cautious of him next time.
June 18, 2010 at 5:22 PM
Well said, Spit. Decided to forgive but not forget... how long the relationship will last with all the bad memories still in mind? =)Afterall, no matter how, it will ends. If both party does not forget the past.
To me, if I could not forget and the person is just another person who walk into my life, well....Why waste the time and effort to focus on this person- the bad vibes in my life who is harmful.... I will rather focus my life with the good ones.Life is easier, happier and more meaningful. Just said, my fate with this person has ended. ;) .... Life will not be as complicated anymore or should I say, Life shouldn't be that complicated,ain't?
Best to be the stranger to each other, he/she is just another person living in this tiny world....nothing more, nothing less...
rather than hatred and bad memories keep playing in our mind. That's just my 2 cents of thought.